No one and I mean NO ONE has the power to take away my happiness.Not any more. I refuse to let it happen again. I refuse to stoop to the level of others and engage in drama and foolishness. They can exhaust themselves with their efforts, but in the end they will be the unhappy ones. Unhappier than they clearly already are. I have too much to be happy about.

I have a boyfriend who loves me and wants nothing more than for us to be happy together. We aren't letting anyone or anything come between us.

I have awesome children. I love them like mad.

I still have my Lulu...and someday she will be with me again. Until then I'll smile and know that I was the bigger person.

I have an awesome job and can easily meet my bills.

My faith is strong.

I am strong.

I can't even believe 6 months have gone by already. This whole starting my life over process has been a rough road. Being broke has definitely not improved my mood, but it has made me realize that I can survive.Even if just barely. Broke or not I am always planning my next move. I am all about making things happen.

What a shitty day this turned out to be. Woke up in a good mood too. Isn't that always the way.

All I wanted to do was get some stuff taken care of at home so I could be prepared for work in the morning, and try to start planning the boyfriend's birthday. Once I got all of that done I was going to have the rest of the day and night to spend with the boyfriend.

Little did I know that shit was going to hit the fan. You know sometimes you see it coming, but this time... This time I was totally taken by surprise.

So much hatefulness and negativity still find ways to creep into my life. All I want is to be happy with my boyfriend and my kids and our dog. Is that really too much to ask?

I pray for peace,love and happiness to be in our lives on a daily basis. I pray for negative influences to be kept out of our heads,hearts, and home.

Tonight while I am lying in bed crying I am praying that my boyfriend knows just how much I love him. I am not praying for the sleep I am losing, that tomorrow will be an easy day at work, or to make it so that none of the events of the day happened. All I pray for is him, for love, for our family. Not one prayer for myself,not even a tiny one.

Had a great day at work. Love my bosses and co-workers. Such a fun team to work with. Then I came home and...Let there be drama. I can't even have one full day of peace and relaxation. I still can't make plans for my future because this job didn't come with a signing bonus. I am so sick of other people being able to control my life. I feel like a teenager saying just wait until my checks start rolling in, then I am so outta here. Don't call me. Don't come over.Just don't!

There is nothing like being woken up by a screaming child who does not belong to you, followed by an adult shouting back at said child. All this before 7 a.m. All this before my alarm went off at 6:45. Needless to say I am not to be messed with this morning. So ready to get this work day started!

Today was pretty fantastic! I spent the afternoon with my two favorite guys, and a couple bonus sweeties. I am not even joking when I tell you that the boyfriend has the most adorable little cousins. I am so in love with  the baby I don't even have time to take pictures. I am just too busy loving every minute. Her big brother is such a ham, he keeps everyone entertained.

It is sort of hilarious to see how the boyfriend interacts with the little ones. You can see is somewhat uncomfortable with the whole thing, but he is truly awesome with kids. He'll be an awesome daddy some day.

The best part of this day was the moment we walked into the boyfriends mom's house and I introduced my son to his grandma. My son is at that socially awkward, early teens shy stage where he really doesn't know how to deal with certain situations. When she said hello and pulled him in for a hug I was shocked.Then I heard her tell him that we are family and we hug not shake hands. My heart absolutely melted. To hear her say we were family was awesome. I certainly feel that way. It was a pretty special moment for me.

 I am so glad that the boyfriend spent his day off spending time with his family. They are such wonderful people and I love them to bits. I have never felt so welcomed and loved. God has truly blessed me this year.

via

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."

Remember to put the glass down.

How lucky am I to have such an amazing, supportive boyfriend?!

REALLY FREAKING LUCKY!!!!  No, Really.

He is so sweet to be letting me stay with him as much as I want to while I am dealing with my living situation drama. I know he is so ready for me to start the new job so he can have his space back. He is trying so hard not to let me see his frustration with my invasion. I love him so much for being there for me. I know he has no idea how important it is to me that he is just there.

Things have been so crazy these past few months and he has been my rock. Wherever he is, is my peace. He is where I feel like I can find myself and rest.

He came into my life at a ridiculously difficult time and has been unwaveringly steady, and positive.When I think about all he has stood by side through... drama with the ex, the terrible sadness and depression over not having my kids with me, the craziness and chaos that is my family, fights we have had because of all the stress in my life, me walking out on not just one but two jobs.

I am so blessed to have this man in my life and thank God for him every day.

Thank you so much babe, for being there for me. For all the hugs. For holding my hand. For listening to me rant. For wiping my tears. For letting me fall asleep on your chest. For never letting me fall.

I can never begin to thank you enough. I love you so very very much!